As Long As You're Mine
by DarthGrammar
Summary: A drastic retooling of a fic I wrote five years ago and then abandoned. Takes place in an AU 2005. Tammy is unhappily engaged to Sandy, Lizzie and Coop have just broken up, and Jonathan has no idea what to do with himself. As The World Turns crossover.
1. Kiss Me Too Fiercely, Hold Me Too Tight

**A/N: **Hello, all! My third Jammy/Tammathan fic is up and running now, so, um… not much else to say! Review! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **They would've been together a long time ago if I owned them.

**As Long As You're Mine**

**Prologue- Kiss Me Too Fiercely, Hold Me Too Tight…**

She kissed him again, crushing her lips to his in a desperate act of need. She hadn't remembered how she'd gotten to be with him, or vice versa; she couldn't remember the boyfriend back at home, waiting for her; all she could remember was the passionate love that clenched them in its fist and never letting go. She ripped herself away from him, gasping for breath as he spoke to her.

"Tammy…" he whispered first. Oh- had anyone else said that, it would have been a curse on her for what she'd done to him, but not when he said it. From his lips, her name was a blessing. "Don't think anymore. Don't think about the people who want to keep us from each other. Don't think about tomorrow, and what it brings. Don't think about everything that keeps you from loving me. Please… just think of us. Think of us… God, Tammy, if I lose you again… I can't. I'll die. Say it. Say you won't go. Say you won't leave me. Say you love me, Tammy."

She paused, as memories of the very people he had spoken of rushed into her mind. Her mother. Sandy. The people who thought that keeping her away from Jonathan was best for her. She looked at him, finally realizing, _I could finally be with him tonight. _She closed her eyes, sighed, opened them once more, and spoke the word that changed her very destiny for all time.

"Yes."

And he grabbed her by the shoulders, kissing her again. She kissed him back, reminiscing on all the times when they'd kissed secretly, without anyone looking on them in disgust or repulsion. His kiss was freeing to her; it sent her straight into the warm night, the accepting darkness that had cradled her since childhood, that she had shied away from of late. She knew that the coming morning would leave her bare before the world, so she would run into the grasp of the night. And as they kissed fervently, she realized that she loved him.


	2. Far Too Many Notes For My Taste

**A/N: **This chapter will be pretty short since it's a letter to Jonathan and Tammy's journey to Oakdale. I was actually just going to make Tammy pregnant with Jonathan's baby, but I had a dream that Tammy went to Oakdale and met the teens. She'll have prominent interaction with Gwen, Will, Casey, and a newly- returned Lucy, but this _will _remain a Jammy/Tammathan story.

**Disclaimer: **They'd be happy with a shot of angst- and a baby- if I owned them. Don't own ATWT either. Or POTO, which inspired the chapter title.

**As Long As You're Mine Chapter Two- Far Too Many Notes For My Taste**

_Dear Jonathan, _

_Last night was the most incredible night of my life, and I'll remember it until the day I die. But I can't be with you. We couldn't live that way. I couldn't do it to you, but I realized something last night. _

_I love you, Jonathan. I hope you'll remember that. Please forgive me for what I've done to you. I sent a letter to Sandy last night… I can't marry him. Not when I love you this much. I've gone away for a while, to think about us. I'll be back soon, I promise. Maybe we can be together. Last night, something changed within me. My love for you finally came to light, and you don't know how happy I am that it did. And I think that more changes are coming. _

_Love- you don't know how good it sounds! - love, love, love, _

_Tammy_

Jonathan unfolded the letter with Tammy's handwriting on it. He'd woken without her in his bed, but a letter instead. Tears slowly came to his eyes as he finished the letter and said, "I'll wait for you, Tammy… I'll wait for you. I love you."

_Sandy, _

_I honestly don't know how to start this letter, so I'll start with the truth: I can't marry you in two weeks. I can't marry you at all. I've left Springfield, so please don't try to find me. I've gone away to think about my life. _

_Sandy, I don't love you the way you deserve to be loved. Don't wait for me, even if I come back. Someday, you'll find a wonderful woman who loves you the way I should have loved you. I've been changed, Sandy, and definitely for the better. But I have to tell you how I came to this decision: Last night, you were at Lewis. I didn't know how, and I still don't, know how we came to be together, but Jonathan was there. We made love, Sandy. Right where we were going to get married. And I know that this must hurt you so much, but I'd rather be honest with you than try to cushion you from the truth. _

_I hope you find a woman who treats you so much better than I did. Despite what you may think by now, Sandy, I still love you- just not in the way that you want me to. _

_All my love, _

_Tammy_

Sandy Foster walked over to the letter that lay on his bedside table and gingerly picked it up. As he scanned the letter, his eyes filled with tears, too- but he threw the letter into the blazing fire and sobbed, knowing that his love had left him.

_Oakdale_

Tammy set her bags down in the dingy motel, thinking, _I'll find a better place to stay soon. Maybe a boarding house…_ She picked up a newspaper and started to read the classified ads, trying desperately not to think about Jonathan or Sandy. She moved her hands from the soaked bottom half of the paper to the dry top, finally seeing the words "Boarding House" in small print, near the boundary between wet and dry. It was run by Iris something, but the address was visible. Tammy picked up the map of Oakdale, noting to herself that she would go there tomorrow.


	3. Friends and One Hell of a Surprise

**A/N: **Wow, two chapters in a day! Lucky, lucky readers… just kidding! Please, please, please review… Don't make me pout, it isn't pretty!

**Disclaimer:** If I owned them, they'd be fornicating wildly right now.

**Chapter Three- Accustomations, Friends, and One Hell of a Surprise**

Tammy knocked on the white door, stepping back on the patio. A woman opened the door and scowled. Tammy didn't understand how one person could look so kind and so harsh at the same time. Life had clearly not been kind to this woman.

"Um- hi- I'm looking for Iris-" she said.

"You're looking at her," the woman said. "What do you want?"

"I was looking for a room to stay in. I read your ad in the paper."

"Oh. Okay…" she said. "We got a baby in the house now, so if you don't mind-" Tammy interrupted, "Oh, not at all! I've got a baby sister."

Clearly, Iris did not care. "Okay, then. I'll show you the room." She led Tammy through a small living room, where a girl about her age was rocking a baby boy. "Hi, Mom," she said. "Who's this?"

Iris said, "She might be renting a room."

Tammy stuck out her hand to the girl. "Hi. I'm Tammy Winslow."

The girl took her proffered hand, adjusting the baby on her hip. "Gwen Norbeck, and this is Rory."

As the baby turned to look at Tammy, she cooed, "Oh, he's so cute! I have a baby sister, but she's younger than Rory. I love babies!"

As Iris led her down a corridor, Tammy said, "See you soon."

She paused before entering the room, and as she stepped in, she gasped. A small park was visible through the window, and a cushiony sofa bed was next to it. Some miscellaneous pictures were scattered along the walls, and a minifridge was next to a door.

"This one has a shower, a sink, and a minifridge. It costs twenty bucks a week." Iris stated.

"I'll take it." Tammy smiled at Iris as she felt ready to begin a new life- at least, for now.

_Three Weeks Later_

Tammy woke up smiling; she felt like she'd had for the past three weeks. She'd called her mom, letting her know where she was, and her mom was completely supportive of her. Life in Oakdale was terrific. She and Gwen had become instant friends, and she'd even gotten a job at Al's Diner with Gwen. She couldn't live off of the three hundred dollars from her savings account alone! After work, she'd go somewhere with Gwen and her friends, whether it was a restaurant or even the little park outside their house. Tammy honestly felt that she could leave Springfield behind forever if it meant living like this. But she couldn't. She couldn't do that to Jonathan.

She spent the next few days living normally, thinking about Jonathan a little and planning on when she would return to him. But something was wrong. Tammy felt defective, or wrong, somehow.

While waiting in the hospital lobby with Gwen, she said, "I don't know what's wrong; I just know that something is."

"Don't worry. My uncle Bob can do so much. He delivered Rory, even though he was premature, and Rory made it through fine. My uncle will figure out what's wrong with you," Gwen's boyfriend, Will, said reassuringly.

"Thanks, Will," Tammy said. "I just hope that it can be fixed soon."

۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞۞

"Miss Winslow?" the doctor said. "I have some important news. We have the results of all your tests back, and nothing is wrong with you."

"Thank goodness," she sighed.

Gwen hugged her. "See? I told you that you'd be fine!"

Bob stopped them, though. "But the news isn't over yet. Tammy, through the test results we discovered something very important, something which will change your life… Tammy, you are pregnant."


	4. That's What Your Baby's Daddy is For

**A/N: **Aren't those Scammy scenes that they're forcing on us just disgusting?

**Disclaimer: **If I owned it, Sandy'd be six feet under. Acting talent like that deserves to be buried.

**Chapter Four- That's What Your Baby's Daddy is For**

Luckily, Tammy hadn't needed to get a paternity test. In her heart of hearts, she'd known. She and Sandy hadn't slept together in weeks, and when Will's uncle told her that she was about three and a half weeks along, it was confirmed. This was Jonathan's baby.

After asking Gwen and Will to go on home, she privately asked the doctor, "Is there any risk for my baby to be mentally disabled?"

He chuckled. "Oh, no, Miss Winslow, that's a common myth. Your baby would have more risk of being disabled if you were pregnant as a forty- year- old. But just to be safe, I'll run a test later in the pregnancy to see if something's wrong. You can go sign up as my patient with the nurse, and come see me soon."

She smiled. "Thanks." As she left the room, she heard the nurse grumbling about how there were too many pregnant teenagers nowadays.

Tammy walked through the park near Iris' house, still in shock from today's events. Her and Jonathan. A baby. A little life that they made together. She wondered, _Will it be a boy or a girl? Will I have twins? Will the baby be like me or Jonathan? Who will it look like?_

This also changed her plans; she'd wanted to go back to Springfield in a week or so. _But what will I do now? Will I stay here until the baby is born? Will I go home in a week? A month?_

"What do you know?" she pondered aloud, patting the soft curve of her belly that she knew would only grow bigger. "A baby. My baby…" She thought what she'd say to Jonathan. "Hey, Jonathan?" she said to herself. "Remember our night of making the wildest, most passionate love of my life? Well, someone ended up knocked up. Me! Any ideas for baby names? Yours, Tammy."

She felt a reassuring hand on her shoulder as Gwen sat down on a mossy stone next to her, cradling Rory. She said, "Soon, you'll be holding your own little bundle of joy. I know it sounds clichéd, but…"

"Yeah, I get what you mean." Tammy smiled. "I just wish that I could tell Jonathan-"

"You could call him. Or drive home for a while, to see him. This is your baby. It's pretty important."

"Thanks, Gwen. I'll call Jonathan and let him know where I am."

"Or he might have found you already." Tammy whirled around, and saw the love of her life, silhouetted behind the setting sun.


End file.
